Offense-Proof Your Heart

Jesus tells us in Matthew 24:10 that one of the characteristics of the end times will be the acceleration of offenses. “And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another.”

He connects offenses with betrayal and hate. These three seem to work in sync – one-two-three. Someone becomes offended; then he begins to undermine or talk down the one who offended – even though they were perhaps good friends before the offense was leveled. Then, because the offense is allowed to build its case, lies, and partial truths are thrown into the mix, and it turns into a full-scale war. 

I’ve noticed that after time, many people can’t really articulate why they were offended in the first place! Perception can be our friend but I’ve learned that perception can also be our very worst enemy. Perception may be our truth but it may not be “THE” truth. Someone aptly said about arguments: “There’s his truth, her truth, and then the real truth!” 

Families, especially, are prone to giving and receiving offenses. Parents need to teach their young children how to correctly, and in a timely fashion, deal with offenses - squabbles – in the home. They need to teach and model the necessary skills to maintain love and peace during the childrens’ growing-up years. What I’ve noticed in my own family of origin and many of those I pastored is that many times siblings experience a “parting of the ways” when they reach adulthood. They did not learn to “offense-proof” their lives.

How many adult siblings do battle when offenses go unresolved? I’m afraid, too many. Family is everything. God gives us families to help navigate the joys, hard times, and tragedies of life. Family is God’s gift of support. Someone said, “Family will love you when no one else will.” This should be the case but often it is not. Sometimes families throw away their loved ones, and this is one of life’s greatest tragedies. 

May I encourage you to “offense-proof” your life? Learn to readily identify any offenses when they come – and they will – and then in an immediate fashion, confront your disagreements and upsets in a godly manner. When we deal with any offenses in a timely, godly way, the devil has no legal right to cause further strife and pain. The Holy Spirit pours in the oil and wine to heal our pain. Forgiveness is offered and another relationship is salvaged.

Not long ago, I met a family who said, “We’ve tried six churches and cannot find one that’s right.” Naturally, a red flag went up, and I thought to myself, “One church – maybe. Two churches – possibly. Three churches – borderline ridiculous. Five and six – someone needs to ask the hard question: “What’s the real problem?” It could be that someone needs to take a long, hard look inside, repent of any personal issues, and offense-proof their life! 

Oh please, do not allow another horrible relationship statistic to come into your life. Determine today to offense-proof your heart. Ask the Lord to give you grace to meet each incident and to maintain the love, patience and the how to’s of avoiding and nursing offenses. Let’s face it, most things aren’t worth fighting about. Make the cliche, “water off a duck’s back” your new slogan!