Not Supposed To

The holidays seem to magnify pain. Have you ever noticed that? Loss is difficult no matter what time of year; however, when we lose loved ones during the Thanksgiving-Christmas-New Year seasons, it just seems more difficult to handle. We have watched as three people associated with our church family lost loved ones during November and December. And the pain was hard to bear. Death is a fierce contender.

Why does it hurt so bad when we lose loved ones and friends to death? Why do we grieve like we do? I’ve given this a lot of thought lately, as I have stood with families in grief. 

Let me take you to a well known story found in John 11. It’s the story of Jesus raising his friend Lazarus from the dead. You probably know the saga centers around Lazarus’ sisters, Mary and Martha, and highlights the idea that had Jesus arrived earlier, Lazarus may not have died. However, “it is appointed unto man once to die” (Hebrews 9:27). Nestled in the middle of this chapter, we read the shortest verse in the Bible – verse 35. It says, “Jesus wept.”

I believe I received a specific revelation on this verse. Jesus did not simply shed tears; The Greek suggests that He wept uncontrollably. He imploded emotionally – loudly and deeply. The floodgates opened wide. Far above the noise of the paid wailers and the others present came a gut-wrenching cry from the depths of the God-man. Also, He knew that His death on a cross was only days away. Jesus was and is “touched by the feelings of our infirmities” (Hebrews 4:15). He cries when we cry. He wails!

And here’s the reason why: death was never part of God’s original plan. He did not create man to die. Man was fashioned and placed in the original garden to live forever. However, because sin entered the human race, death also came. Romans 5:12 says, “Therefore, just as through one man (Adam) sin entered into the world; and death through sin; and so death spread to all men.”

Simply put, death hurts us so deeply because it was never supposed to be part of our design. It’s the human “rip-off.” And somehow, somewhere in the depths of our being, we know that. It goes against our “eternal grain” to experience death. That’s why it hurts, and that’s why feelings intensify during the holidays. Celebration turns to mourning, and mourning  cuts deep. That’s why I love Psalm 34:18. “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”