Leaky Eyes
Leaky Eyes
Emotions are a wonderful gift from God. Do you agree? We cry during sad movies. I still fight back tears while watching some of the re-runs from “The Walton’s” and “Little House on the Prairie!” We, of course, cry when someone we love dies. We cry when God’s wonderful presence floods our times of praise and worship. Some of us cry when we’re happy! Perhaps we men need to cry more often! Our wives would be so pleased!
Crying, we are told, has therapeutic value. God gave us tear ducts which serve as release valves. When the pressures of life mount, we let off stress through tears. One day, I asked my then three-year-old granddaughter why she was crying. She said, “Papaw, my eyes are leaking!”
What about excessive, unhealthy crying? How do we differentiate between legitimate tears and anger-driven crying? First, it’s not exactly about how little or how much we cry. It’s about the emotion behind the tears. Some people cry at the drop of a hat. They cry when they’re sad, when they’re mad and during all the emotions in-between. Their crying has no boundaries. Understand something. I’m not minimizing our need to cry. God made us to cry. However, what I am suggesting is that emotionally underdeveloped, angry people often cry to hide underlying, unresolved issues.
Little children often resort to crying to manipulate their parents. Loud crying gets attention! However, unless the situation really calls for tears, it should be monitored closely. A missed nap or bedtime often drives especially little children to cry.. I’ve seen children emotionally implode when sleeplessness overwhelmed them. These times are at least partially understandable.
However, children who are allowed to cry at random may grow up to be “cry babies.” The late radio evangelist, C.M. Ward, once said pertaining to immature Christians, “I don’t mind bottle-feeding whiny infant Christians, but something’s wrong when I have to part whiskers to get the bottle in their mouth.”
I personally become suspect when grown men and women cry excessively and for no apparent reason. Something’s usually not right. I may be all wet (no pun intended) but some crying I see in church is anger driven.. Please understand. I’m not against crying in church. I cry with the best of them! However, some tear-filled expressions of emotion signal a coming explosion.
During one vision casting meeting, I asked my leaders to take turns affirming one another. Suddenly, one man began to cry profusely. His voice became loud and anger-filled. My pulpit mannerisms and content became fodder for his fiery assault. The other men sat in stunned silence.
I surmised that his explosive words resulted from an inner struggle of some kind. Church friends confused his frequent crying jags for brokenness, when they were really suppressed fits of anger. What am I saying? Some crying stems from unresolved anger issues. Generally speaking, crying was designed by God to free us, not to justify on-going negative responses. In short, there are “real” tears and there are “crocodile” tears. The wonderful news is that forgiveness later flowed between us and we eventually parted as brothers.
Do you remember the story of Jacob, the deceiver, and his brother, Esau (Genesis 27:30-40)? Jacob tricked his blind father into giving him the final blessing that was intended for his brother, Esau. Hebrews 12:17 gives us further insight into Esau’s real character.
“For you know that even afterwards, when he desired to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no place for repentance, though he sought for it with tears.” Believe me, his tears were anger induced. He was emotionally and spiritually undeveloped. He did not cry because he was repentant. He cried because he wanted to kill his deceitful brother. Rejection – real or perceived – leads to anger.
Healing does not come through crying alone; it comes through release. Legitimate crying does, however, often accompany release. What kinds of things do we release through tears? Here are a few:
Sin- Forgiveness
- Bitterness
- Hurts
- Anger
- Offenses
- Wounds of the past
- Pressures of everyday life
Pastors many times gauge the validity of a salvation experience by how much a person cries. However, I’ve seen “criers” repeat the
Sinner’s Prayer, walkout the church door and never return. On the other hand, I’ve seen very contemplative people, who showed little or no emotion, go on to become stalwart Christians. 1 John 1:9 and Romans 10:9 both say, “If we confess…”
They don’t say, “If we cry…” To confess means to agree with what God days in His Word. Crying that follows confession more likely results in changed behavior.
As a child, I used to cry when I knew I was in trouble. I cried, hoping to lessen my punishment. It seldom worked! The proof is not in how much we cry but how much we release to God. A lot of crying people leave church altars still full of anger. I’m thankful for a salvation that touches my emotions, but I’m more thankful for a salvation that goes deep and pulls out hidden sins – including unresolved anger. Remember, God gave us emotions to serve us, not to master us.